This is me - freaking out

Don't you hate reputations? Not only do they completely stereotype people, but it is SO hard to get rid of them. If that’s not enough, even if you DO like your reputation, then the tiniest thing will demolish that and turn it into one you DON’T want. Ack! It’s a catch 22!!!! THERE IS NO ESCAPE

That said, my own self-induced reputation is now giving me a mild identity crisis. I pride myself that I shun most superficial problems most teenaged girls will obsess over. (Boys, clothes, shopping, make-up, etc.) Which isn’t to say I don’t care, I USUALLY don’t really need to overly worry though. I have a unique clothing style, and no boys particularly interest me so I have no desire to “whore myself up” as my friend put it so nicely. And so life has gone on happily…Up until now that is. (dun dun DAAAA)

Now I find myself trying to decide to ask a guy out that who, although I don’t know him very well, I know likes me and I like him and what little time I spent with him was fun and hilarious at times. And I have a feeling it would be fun to be around him more often…that is, if I ever got up the nerve to tell him so. (No I'm not telling who, because enough people already know...all ...3 ...of you) Not to mention that I’m going to a party tonight and am now having a mild closet crisis.
THIS
IS
FREAKING
ME
OUT
!!!!!!!!!!!

I am scared of all this because it’s so unlike me it’s... well... SCARY. The only reason I can think of is that I’m currently suffering from the teenaged-girl-syndrome. If anyone knows the cure, PLEASE inform me of it.

I repeat, this is really freaking me out!

Now if no one minds, I’m going to go get a brownie and shuffle though my closet again. If something doesn't show up, I’ll just have to watch Breakfast at Tiffany’s and either drown or amplify my sorrows about my appearance with Audrey Hepburn. (Now why couldn’t I have looked like HER!?!?!?!?!)


After note:
ok, so the party was fun, small - but fun. We watched the movie of the play we were in, COMPLETELY trashed one of the guys whenever he came on stage, (don't worry, he deserved it!) laughed, chatted, and had a overall good time. And of course, since I panicked, no one cared what I wore. Typical.
I worry = no one cares.
I don’t worry= it really matters
Welcome to reality.